What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Atheists claim that Earth is 10 billion years old, yet there are no fossils that old. What do you have to say for yourselves for lying?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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True - how I loved my mum!

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”